Music

at church on Sunday I heard the statement "if you want a christian home then listen to good christian music" and I haven't been able to get it out of my head since. Music was always something I always struggled with, it seemed so hard to listen to the right music because the wrong music just seemed so much better. I used to listen to rock, and not your average rock music and I can't believe I'm about to put this out there for everyone to read but here it goes... I listened to Avenged Sevenfold, Blink 182, (my two favorites) Metallica, and a very long list of other bands. If you were to go to any of those bands websites they are obviously not God honoring, and a couple of them on the verge of satanic. At this point I can't tell you the last time I listened to any kind of rock music, but I did replace that with country music instead which isn't as bad as rock music (which is what I kept telling myself) but it certainly isn't God honoring either. I made the decision that I wanted little man to grow up in a good, God honoring, christian home. I knew music was a part of that so while I'm in the car with little man I always listen to christian music but when I've had a bad day or sometimes just because I'll flip the radio station to country music. I already knew that music does affect your attitude but on Sunday I was sitting in church thinking "what on earth am I doing?! if I want a good, christian, God honoring home, it has to start with ME! and I have to listen to the right kind of music, whether Levi is in the car with me or not!"

Easter 2011

Ted and I decided to leave my home church of about 9 years to go to another, smaller, church in the area and once him and I had separated I just couldn't face going back, I just KNEW people would have something to say about me getting divorced. So, I stayed right where I was and it was a great church and I was so thankful for the pastor and every member of the church but, it wasn't where God wanted me. So, even though it was a great church and I was happy there, something was missing but I was not about to go back to my home church and face that humiliation. So, I stayed, happy but missing something. On Easter Sunday, April 24 2011 Levi and I went to our church and my parents went to theirs, the only problem is our service ended about 45 minutes to an hour before theirs did and there was nothing for me to do at 10:30 on Easter Sunday morning so I went to Faith and sat in the parking lot with Levi and I was perfectly content sitting there until they got out of church except I couldn't just keep the car running and it was HOT then Levi started fussing something terrible. So, I had to get out and go inside and wait and I was absolutely scared to death to walk in those doors but Levi was hot and fussing so I had to because I was perfectly content sitting out there sweating and miserable and once I walked through the doors I felt at peace and not just because there was air conditioning and Levi quit fussing ;) My ex-boyfriend was standing there doing his security job but instead of ignoring me (like I would have done if I were him) he talked to me and so did other people, I was kind of surprised by all of that because I had been gone for close to a year and I didn't quite leave a good reputation nothing too bad just rebelliousness and a bad attitude. That day really changed my life, it did take me a few weeks to make the decision to come back on a regular basis, but I did.

-so blessed <3

Divorce

This blog isn't to condone divorce because I will be the first person to tell someone not to get divorced! This blog is to tell my story, to tell where I came from, where I am now, and where God is taking me. So here it goes, In December 2010 My husband and I separated and I thought my entire life was over, I was suddenly a single mom to a 3 month old and not working enough hours to pay all the bills. I never wanted my son to come from a broken home, especially at only 3 months old. I had no idea how to feel, what to think, or what to do. So, I cried and I kept going, but for a couple months I just wanted to give up because there was no way I could do it on my own. Then I looked at my son and got the motivation I needed. It wasn't easy, but I kept going and most importantly, I prayed, prayed, and prayed. Through Gods provision, I got more hours and was able to pay my bills and when I wasn't working, I spent every moment I could with Levi. Through the past year and seven months by Gods grace I have changed so much and realized just how much strength, through Him, I really had. Now, I look back and laugh about thinking my life was over and thinking there was no way I could put all the pieces back together. Now, I am SO thankful for the divorce and can honestly say it is one of the best things to happen to me! Through the divorce I have grown so much in the Lord and learned so much about trusting him for all aspects of my life. So there it is, I am divorced! I used to be so ashamed of it because you know, God hates divorce. Then I realized that yes, God hates divorce but just because I'm divorced does that really mean God can't do anything with me for the rest of my life because of it?! NO! That's just crazy! God can do anything with anyone no matter what they have done and once I got that through my head, I stopped worrying so much what people would think and once people found out WHY I was getting divorced, it wasn't such a big deal anymore, don't worry, I won't go into all the details of the divorce on here.

-so blessed <3

My Journey

I have made more than my share of mistakes and stupid choices, choices that have really effected my life and now I'm dealing with the consequences of those choices. God has really worked in my life through this situation and I am finally on the right path and making right choices. That is what this blog is about, my journey from failure to finally being who God wants me to be by trusting him and doing his will for my life. God has really been working in my life for a couple years now, I just ignored him. He finally got my attention a few months ago and since then I have slowly been trusting him, I have had my share of bumps along the way and wandering off the path but I always came back pretty quickly. I am so amazed at what God has done in my life, even through all of my mistake He still never gave up. I know God has bigger plans for my life than I ever thought I was capable of, but with him anything is possible and I'm so excited for what he has planned for my future!

-so blessed <3